We got together at the BFF's for the big game.
Played Wii-where I kicked hiney hoser in bowling.
And Doug wrestled around with Karen's 4 year old so much, that he made poor Bubby puke!
Then he got back up for more.
With friends, family and a box of photos that randomly appeared...we had a blast from the past.
We came across pictures of ex's...pictures of Karen's wedding...babies...and FUN FAT FOTOS.
Everyone laughed, hooted and were astonished over some of them.
Then...Karen's mom found a picture of me probably at my heaviest in 2002. Doug looked at it with a crinkled nose and wide eyes...that was you?? Wow! Now mind you, I was a size 12. Okay...probably a size 14 but wouldn't buy any clothes that said so. I wasn't obese...but heavy and not anywhere close to in shape.
Looking at those pictures made me cringe. It made me very uncomfortable. Even today, thinking about them makes me sick. Not that I was embarrassed or didn't want Doug to see them. I don't care about that. It was something more. I'm not sure I can put my finger on it. Did it bring me back to a place I didn't want to be?
It was almost like I was looking at pictures of someone else.
That was me?
That was me.
I say 40 pounds heavier. Others call me on it and say it was more.
Who is that person? What were you thinking? What were you feeling?
Either way...that is not me ANYMORE.
And I can't be happier to say that.